The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?Jeremiah 17:9
Greetings, internet family in Christ! It has been a while since I’ve last written to you. While in prayer this morning, the Lord gently set it on my heart to write. Admittedly, I believe it may be beneficial to just get the recent trials of my own heart out into words so that the Maker might step in, then gracefully lace together a solution as the words pour out because he absolutely delights in empowering us with his wisdom and truth! Yay! We sure do need help, this earthly human business is tricky. Anyway, I’ll just come right out and say it; my heart is being idiotic. These pesky hearts, amiright? My relationship with the father has gradually transitioned into something comparable to a long distant relationship where I am the insecure partner that needs constant validation and comfort because the distance hurts and the desire is boundless. Insecurities arise when I feel like I’m not hearing or seeing him as much. Yet the other day, when he had spoken to me; it was to rebuke me. ” You praise me with your lips but your heart is far from me” I was horrified and wanted to deny it altogether. So deep in denial that he had to use a friend of mine to speak those same words to me as confirmation so that I could not brush it off. The thoughts arise “How could my heart be far off?! My God is clearly the center of my life, this doesn’t make sense. Father please don’t make me like the Pharaoh! Don’t harden my heart towards you, I want to give you every part of me but I can’t do that without your help.” Through faith, I know he is near and that I can confidently drink from whatever cup he hands me, knowing it is for the best. Yet my heart does not always fall into this place. As my beloved sibling in the kingdom, I wouldn’t be surprised to learn you have previously faced or may be currently facing a similar season of longing. Intellectually, I know that as chosen ones, we should not live by our feelings, we live by spirit and truth. I would not argue otherwise. However it is one thing to mentally accept certain information but we play a very different game when actually having to live this out in the depths of our hearts at all times. There is this phenomenon that can take place if we are not carefully watching the nature of our own hearts; where our heart’s desires, even if they appear to be innocent on the surface, will lead us into a place of dissatisfaction which gives birth to impatience, which can then turn into greediness for more and more. We have to see it outwardly, otherwise we will doubt it’s existence inwardly. Yet the definition of faith is the assurance of what is unseen.
They have become callous and have given themselves up to sensuality, greedy to practice every kind of impurity. But that is not the way you learned Christ!— assuming that you have heard about him and were taught in him, as the truth is in Jesus, to put off your old self, which belongs to your former manner of life and is corrupt through deceitful desires, and to be renewed in the spirit of your minds, and to put on the new self, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness.Ephesians 4:19-24
To be holy is to be without sin, set aside, to be in a state of full health and love. Our father Abraham paved the way for righteousness by believing in Gods promise. Holiness and righteousness are very much so interdependent. I find it interesting to note the steps presented to get here:
- Put off old self
- Be renewed in the spirit of your minds
- Put on new self
I will not say that I have fully mastered this process quite yet, it is just so reliving to know that we serve a sweet, caring father that will make it known immediately when we fall out of line, and that he will provide us with a clear way to get back to a straight path.
because the Lord disciplines the one he loves, and he chastens everyone he accepts as his son.Hebrews 12:6
The more and more that I grow up into Christ, the more I realize the easiest way to do away with the problem, is the fix your eyes right back onto the solution. On that note, time for me to pray and get this heart right. Stay blessed, saints!